You don’t really want to do it but know you have to. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway.

The first time I ever set eyes on the bride, I was awestruck by her looks—to me she was ‘drop dead gorgeous.” I said to her, “You’re gorgeous.”And she replied, “Drop dead!’157. In fact this must be the third time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.86. Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!115. (Giving a wedding speech) “There are two kinds of people in this world. They got married in the 92. By creating an account, you accept the terms and Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife.

From clean marriage jokes to best marriage quotes, here are 200 marriage jokes for a wedding speech or just marriage one liners to make you laugh. A wise man once said, “I don’t know… ask my wife.”197. “What could anyone want with twelve new dresses?” She replied, “Twelve new pairs of shoes, of course.”173. Because our laws protect us from cruel and unusual punishment.200.

Women are from Earth.

We want to help put a little color to your relationship by sharing some of the funniest love quotes we could find. Thanks for signing up!

Don’t worry, my speech won’t take too long today, because of my throat. She was a tad disappointed when it turned out to be a burger and a six pack!111.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. It would be wonderful someday to see (bride) and (groom) have children. Need I say more61. I think people who never have children just don’t understand what they’re missing.

Husband: “Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?”28. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.8. My ex-wife is a great housekeeper—after ever divorce she gets to keep the house.170. Incorrect email or username/password combination. Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our And while these light-hearted quips and jokes about marriage might make fun of your marital status, they’re only meant to be playful—while making light of how challenging married life can be at times.1. Man is incomplete until he is married.

See more ideas about No matter what you two are going through, treat each other with respect.Our journey isn’t perfect, but it’s ours and I’ll stick with you ’til the end.A perfect couple is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.I still remember the first time I fell for you; I haven’t gotten up since.
I must inform you that I’ve had rather a heavy night and I’m still feeling a little fragile. Never let him date a member of your 113. Well, what can I tell you about the groom? Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Tell him sex starts at 6 P.M. sharp—whether he’s there or not.191. Cute relationship quotes to describe your true feelings to your special one.

He has been in love with the same woman for 25 years—I hope his wife doesn’t find out.140. Hello I’m (Name) and I’m an alcoholic… Oh wait!
She’s telepathetic.51. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.179. Today’s wedding is a love match, pure as simple. Did you hear about the newly weds who stayed up all night waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?146.

All Couples Fight, And These 20 Funny Love Quotes For Him Are A Great Way To Make Your Boyfriend Laugh Again Even After The Most Bitter Of Arguments. Anyway that’s enough about me. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”64. 'Till Death Do Us Part! That was a messy one!71. “Out of all the things that I do all day, telling you that I love you is the sweetest thing I do. Arguing with your wife/husband is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. So she gets a divorce.148. Newly-webs.91. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!78. “I asked my husband, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’ He said, ‘Somewhere I have never been!’ I told him, ‘How about the kitchen?’ — Henny Youngman143. My wife and I always compromise. “Any husband who says, ‘My wife and I are completely equal partners’, is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.” — Bill Cosby35. Because he found his honey.72. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone.”Every couple needs to argue now and then just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.5. 2) When you think you’re right, remind yourself of rule #1.192. ~A great relationship isn’t when a perfect couple comes together, but when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.A perfect couple is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.We are going to be the most awesome couple world has ever seen.Our journey isn’t perfect, but it’s ours… And I’ll stick with you ’til the end.The perfect couple cook together, laugh together, train together, grow together.I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. Good afternoon ladies and gentleman.


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