Copyright © 2018, Your store Name . All ladies giving milk will please come early.• Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.• Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. and Mrs. For those of you who have children - and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus.
Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.• Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.• This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. There is old man Dic-Tate who wants to run everything, while Uncle Ro-Tate tries to change everything. All Rights Reserved.• Coming Up—Theological Open House. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.
One Athens police officer is recovering from a horrific car crash, and his wife says that his guardian angel is… We hope that this list of funny church announcements gave you a chuckle or two!This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.Mr. "• Thursday night – potluck supper. One mother’s triplets were born at 22 weeks, but she ended up giving birth to them on different days and… is done.• The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours. "• The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.• The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.
Don’t let worry kill you off– let the Church help. They need all the help they can get.• Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. Prayer and medication to follow.• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and the community.• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.• The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. "• Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. Please use large double door at the side entrance.• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.• The Rev. Don't forget your husbands. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. "• The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Church Announcements That Show Humor Isn’t Dead The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Children will be baptized at both ends. Church announcement bloopers! Joke: 15 actual announcements taken from church bulletins: 1. One of the ladies will start quietly, and the rest of the congregation will join in.• Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.• Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.
Please use the back door.• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7:00 p.m. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.• Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.• "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. Funny Church Announcements The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of Roderick James Hillman, the sin of Revd. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.• Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.• The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.• Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.• Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Church Announcement There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.• Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? We discuss thought-provoking topics. – come early and listen to our choir practice.• Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8:00 p.m. in the recreation hall.
Please place your donation in the … "Hey, thanks for reading - we hope you enjoyed it!